Eric Staggs: Writer

I’ve been guest blogging again… check out my article on D7D 5E for Nervermet Press!

There was once a boy who got so bored he let his mind wander.

One day, while wandering, he wandered so far, his mind got lost.

She took her cameraman by the hand and dragged him along behind her. “Come on, Jiang! Move it! We’ve got to get to the scene!”

She dragged him and he dragged the camera to the police line. A man in a blue-black uniform stepped in front of her. Barred her way. “Hold on little lady. This is an action scene.”

“I’m a reporter! I’m with iWide! Come on!” She shoved an ID badge that said Patricia Sandoval in the cop’s red face. He examined it, nodded. Patricia darted past him, Jiang the Cameraman on tow. She saw the other stations had arrayed their camera crews at various angles; the team from CNN was standing atop a car for a better view.

Patricia took up a position near CNN. “Can we get inside?”

Another female reporter, wearing a badge that said 32 News, answered her. “No, it’s still an action scene. Cops won’t let us in ’til it’s a Justice Scene.”

Patricia frowned. “That’s not normal.”

“This isn’t a normal one.”

“What? Who’s up there?”

“Hiro Nine.”

Hiro Nine was the best in the game. He’d started contracting when he was just fifteen. In the ten years since, he’d logged over 200 completed contracts. He had sponsors kicking in his doors. Nike, Sony, Microsoft. Ferrari, Wilson, Comcast. His body armor was covered in more logos than any other contractor.

Each part of his armor had a price tag on it, like a racecar. His breastplate (occupied by a large Nike Swoosh) would bring 200,000¥, his shoulder pauldrons (with a McDonald’s and World Bank logo respectively) 50,000¥ each. His forearms were protected by a centimeter of reinforced plastisteel and the smiling face logo Wal-Mart.

Patricia turned to Jiang, “Roll it… come on come on!”

The red light kicked on. “We’re uplinked in 5…4…3…”

Patricia blinked slowly and when she opened her eyes, she was someone else. Someone a statistician decided everyone would like.

“Good Evening! Patricia Sandoval here for iWide news. We’re live at the Carerra building in New York, where an Action Scene is unfolding. Sources say that the building is locked down while none other than Hiro Nine is enforcing a contract! Hiro Nine, the Contractor with the most completed contracts and least Bystander casualties in Law Enforcement.”

Just then, there was an explosion.

Far above somewhere near the 32nd floor, Hiro Nine realized he’d made a mistake. His faceplate was projecting a split screen image. One half, light amplified hallways of his environment actual. The other half was scrolling statistics about his quarry, one Roger Cannis. All the statisticians and psychologists and criminologists cited report after report, they insisted that good old Roger Cannis, while incredibly dangerous, was very attached to his life, to living, and all that came with it.

The explosion that had just thrown Hiro Nine through two plaster walls hinted that the profilers might have missed something significant…

Dust filled the air and Hiro could hear someone crying out. He stood up, slowly, and set his onboard to the task of checking his body for damage and as well as the armor itself. Some dents, a crack on his right greave, where a piece of shrapnel had hit just right, smudging the red and white painted American Air International logo.  Nothing worth stopping the Action Scene. Hiro’s internal helmet radio crackled.

“Nine get moving. The explosion was good, but none of the stations have any visual. Push him to the top or to the bottom before you complete your contract. Do it on the roof or in the lobby. Copy?”

Hiro shook his head. No matter what he showed them, no matter how he did his job, it was never enough. The last Contract had been enforced underwater, as the Target fled for the relative shelter of Pacifica and her non-extradition policy. Hiro had destroyed two submarines and flooded a major intercontinental under-way, and still they wanted more.

He checked his sidearm and saw it was still locked. He then moved into the dissipating dust.

Not far away, Roger Cannis, convicted multiple murderer, searched frantically for a stairwell. He had punched a hole in a gas main he’d found in a maintenance closet, and then used his lighter to detonate the volatile gas cloud. The idea was to blow the Contractor straight out into the cold night, and let him think about his life’s path as he plummeted thirty some odd floors to a quick but rather unsightly death. Roger thought it was fair.

Roger’s ears were ringing from the explosion and he was sure he could feel blood oozing from his battered, if not burst, eardrums. Roger had used one of the six shots in his .38 revolver to puncture the gas main. Six rounds were the court’s idea of a fair trial. He faced a professional, an armed and armored opponent, with six tiny bullets. Now, five tiny bullets.

“What happens when Douglas Adams and Frank Herbert have a punk rock literary love child? Something akin to Eric Staggs. This collection is filled with stories that are irreverent, humorous, and full of space logic and strategies. For the sci fi fan, Mr. Staggs doesn’t dance around the future, he travels through it as if he’s actually been there. For a contemporary collection of modern tales of space, adventure, and beer chugging nuns, Space Whales is worth checking out.” – Erin Howk, Reader

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/165072801

Many would have us believe that contemporary society need only worry about zombies, shambling piles of rot that groan and reek of decay, warning us of their imminent approach. This is untrue. Since the dawn of mankind we’ve been plagued by a variety of undead, truly numerous in their subspecies.

For brevity and ease of categorization, undead shall be broken up into three primary categories determined by their primary unique attribute.

Thinking Undead

First and perhaps most dangerous are the thinking undead. These creatures range in scope from master vampires, creatures of such age and staggering malevolence that to simply witness them would scar a mind, to automaton guardians, enacting simple to complex instructions, but with no real will of their own. Then of course there’s the more enigmatic undead, like the sorcerous lich or the dreaded Eye of Fear and Flame. Revenants and Heucuva like somewhere in between the animated slave-corpses and the master plotters within the shadows.

When dealing with thinking undead, all bets are off, and knowledge is truly your only ally. Safely assume the undead creature, no matter its subspecies, has lived significantly longer than you. You will not be the first foolhardy soul to attempt to its destruction. It will anticipate your tricks, your tactics will be old hat, your skills, will be sub-par. The only chance one truly has of defeating a thinking undead is personal knowledge of the undead itself. Knowing where a lich stores his phylactery, for example will allow you to sever the fiend’s connection with the dark forces that keep it whole. Knowing the true name of a vampire will freeze it, for a short time. It is also said that The Eye of Fear and Flame may demand conversation and only the wisest should dare try to match wits with the thing. Each thinking undead will be a special case, the circumstances so varied that no hard and fast rules can really apply.

However, there are a few tactics that should always be employed against superior forces.

-       Attack from range: anything that keeps you out of arms length is more valuable than you can know.

-       Pole weapons are logical but generally have no effect on skeletal bodies or desiccated tissue.

-       Shotguns and automatic weapons are moderately effective, provided they are immediately followed up with the appropriate coup de gras (stake in the heart for vampires, destruction of the phylactery for liches).

-       Flame: fire tends to drive all thinking creatures back, even the undead. Some say it’s a instinct left over from their mortal life. (More on this later)

-       Wolf Pack: always attack in numbers. Always.

Spontaneous Undead

The next type of undead are loosely termed “spontaneous occurrence undead.” This includes skeletons, ghosts, wraiths and the like. These undead, also called after-shock manifestations, spontaneously occur when a burst of intense emotional energy is released. The skeleton army of Sheikara was one such event. Historians could easily identify the risen by their accoutrements, consisting evenly of about half 3^rd century BCE Persian and Egyptian craft. The Five Hauntings of Shaedellery Road is another such example; after a gruesome murder, the entire family of five manifested as wraiths. NOTE: poltergeists are not technically undead. They are more accurately described as capricious or malevolent energy patterns. They often anthropomorphize so that they might more easily interact with their victims.

Disposal, or dissipation of spontaneous undead is often the realm of clergy. Clerics and Priests of various faiths all have their own methods, ritually prescribed techniques for dis-corporating spontaneous undead.

Baring a cleric’s intervention, or the presence of a significant positive energy source, a bludgeon is most effective against skeletons. Bones become quite brittle without fresh blood nourishing the marrow. A mace, aluminum baseball bat, even a shovel are highly effective against physically present spontaneous undead. NOTE: incorporeal undead CANNOT be dealt with in this fashion. The touch of a wraith is deadly to most mortals and confrontation without prior experience and prepared clergy is discouraged.

Infectious Undead

As with all things in the 21^st century, our undead problem has become acute and extreme. Vampires and skeletal hordes have, fortunately, changed little since recorded time began. In fact, regional variants in undead show even less deviance than in living creatures. This of course would have to do with the lack of evolutional opportunity within the undead life cycle.

However, much to our detriment, we’ve been introduced to entire new strains of undead. These creatures are known as the Infectious Undead. These particular undead may not have “life,” but they are hosts to a variety of life forms, bacteria, viruses and parasites. These life forms are often what drive the life cycle of the infectious undead. Through bodily fluids, a variety of “zombifying” viruses are transmitted. Rage, Morning Star, Necrotitis Ambulatoria, the names for the “zombie plague” are as numerous as the undead that carry it. It is these infectious undead that we must be particularly concerned with.

Further, there is an in-between life and undeath state for many hosts of these viruses. Specifically, Rage drives the infected into a killing frenzy where all rational thought ceases. In this state, the body slowly dies, while the virus multiplies exponentially. Every aspect of the infected then becomes contagious, as the thing is rife with bacteria and disease.

Worth a brief mention are Brain Parasites and Yellow Musk Zombies.

Brain Parasites take root within the parietal lobe of any available host. They multiply within hours and in addition to driving the victim mad, cause him or her to seek out others of their kind, in which to implant new parasites. While technically this is an infectious zombie-like state, the brain parasite zombie is in fact not undead, thus conventional methods of eradication (with contagion precautions) can be employed with reasonable effectiveness.

The Yellow Musk Zombie, like the Brain Parasite, is in fact a zombie, but again is technically not undead. The Yellow Musk Zombie is created when an individual breathes in the poisonous pollen of a Yellow Musk Creeper Vine. This vine then feeds on the liquid nutrients within the victim’s body. Once drained, a root system takes hold within the victim’s corpse, taking advantage of the skeletal structure to facilitate mobility and thus reproduction. Fire is the best way to deal with this particular menace.

This brings us to some basic facts about dealing with Infectious Undead.

Combat

There are several recommended techniques for engaging infectious undead. Make no mistake, the only safe way of dealing with infectious undead is to not deal with them. Avoid them at all costs. Depending on the particular strain of infection, they may rot away, starve or simply cease to become animate. Some may not.

Some strains may be highly motivated, ambulatory and aggressive. Instances of reasoning have been recorded, though witnesses were highly agitated and potentially unreliable. Regardless, reason would push infectious undead into the category of thinking undead, like the Ghast. Other strains of zombies may simply wander about, feeding like scavengers and hunters of opportunity.

Much of this has been covered in the definitive work, The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. However, I feel after actual practice and encounters with infectious undead, a few brief addendums are necessary.

Ranged, high kinetic yield weapons like shotguns or rifles are effective at hindering the undead, but as we all know, destroying the brain is the only way to end them permanently. Shotguns allow little luxury for error and tend to spray infectious material in all directions with a successful hit. Rifles on the other hand, require precision and patience, both of which are hard to manifest in the face of an onrushing horde of zombies. Further, a rifle round can travel through one, two or a dozen undead before striking a brain, doing little but exposing your position.

-       A properly equipped fire team will have a mix of long and medium ranged weapons. Medium -range weapons function as close support for the long-range weapons.

-       A successful fire team will be highly mobile. When choosing a position for confrontation, expect to advance and withdraw many times throughout the engagement. This tidal-effect will give the fire team the ability add and decrease range with the increase or decrease of infectious undead present.

-       Explosives simply spread the plague.

-       Unless you are an excellent shot, all your pistol is good for is saving your self a painful death.

Melee

Conventional undead battling technique would have us all believe that fire is an appropriate method with which to purge the undead. Fire cleanses everything, or at least, so they’ve always told us. The effectiveness of fire depends greatly on the sub-category of infectious undead. Those afflicted with Rage will simply run about setting other things on fire. The truly undead are incapable of rapid movement and thus fire becomes much more effective. As fire destroys tissue, the undead collapse in upon themselves and become harmless piles of ash. That said one must be extremely careful not to breathe the fumes of a burning zombie. Further, the long-term ecological effects cannot with any accuracy be assessed (and are beyond the scope of this essay). Finally, be aware that to completely destroy a human body, recently deceased, the flames much reach a temperature of at least 760 to 1150 °C (1400 to 2100 °F) for a considerable time. No mean feat for a highly mobile fire team potentially low on supplies.

Engaging infectious undead in melee is perhaps one of the most terrifying endeavors available for a person, even an adventurer or mercenary. The sheer numbers, voracity and single-mindedness of the infectious undead invariably startle even the most battle-hardened soldier. Hand-to-hand combat is even moreso.

Many essays have been written on the best weapon for dealing with zombies, company’s fortunes have waxed and waned due to the perceived effectiveness of their new anti-undead weapons. However, as any veteran of undead combat will tell you, an aluminum baseball bat is really all you need. Amateurs will insist their favorite D&D weapon is best. This is foolish. Edged weapons get caught in bones and don’t deliver killing blows often enough to the walking dead. The only vaguely acceptable medieval weapon would be a mace. Blunt force will shatter bones and with a trained or adequately strong arm, easily shatter a skull. That said, woe to any who just up leap into zombie melee with a hammer or mallet. Again, an aluminum baseball bat is the best choice – its smooth surface prevents contagion from clinging, makes the weapon easy to clean and most of us have been swinging baseball bats since we could walk. The weapon is light, easily carried and intuitive.

1. Brooks, Max. World War Z: an Oral History of the Zombie War. New York: Crown, 2006.
2. Brooks, Max, and Ibraim Roberson. The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks. New York: Three Rivers, 2009. Print.
3. Recht, Z.A. Plague of the Dead The Morningstar Saga. Pocket, 2009. Print.
4. Brown, Eric S. Season of Rot. [S.l.]: Permuted, 2009. Print.
5. Bourne, J. L. Day by Day Armageddon. New York: Pocket, 2009. Print.
6. Kirkman, Robert, and Charles Adlard. The Walking Dead. Orange, CA: Image Comics, 2007. Print.
7. Mearls, Mike, Stephen Schubert, and James Wyatt. Monster Manual: Roleplaying Game Core Rules. Renton, WA: Wizards of the Coast, 2008. Print.
8. Turnbull, Don. Fiend Folio: Tome of Creatures Malevolent and Benign : an Alphabetical Listing of Monsters for Use with Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Adventures … Lake Geneva, WI: TSR Hobbies, 1981. Print.
9. 28 Weeks Later. Dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. By Juan Carlos Fresnadillo. Fox Atomic, 2007. DVD.
10. Night of the Living Dead. Dir. George A. Romero. By George A. Romero, George A. Romero, and George A. Romero. New Age Video, 1968. DVD.

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Eric Staggs: Writer

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The one thing I always hate about cinema is when films build upon one another’s cosmology. Legion, a sub-par piece in every sense of the word, starts off with bloody scene where the archangel Michael severs his own wings. He then stitches up the gaping wounds himself, as he is now mortal.

Being something of a mythology researcher, I’ve found no mention in Christian Biblical Lore about angels becoming mortal when they cut off their wings. In fact, this is an invention of the writer/director Kevin Smith. So, right off the bat, the basis for the film Legion is something Kevin Smith coughed up between bong hits.

The rest of the plot is a mish-mash stolen from films like The Prophecy, revolving about the classic “Hold-Out-And-Run” template. Aliens, 30 Days of Night, Dawn of the Dead (remake), The Mist and about a thousand other films of the genre share the same “story” arc; the characters are presented with an impossible challenge, one steels their wills to survive and they fortify until they realize they must move to stay alive. This decision invariably costs the characters that which they sought so hard to preserve – each other.

An ensemble piece, the cast of characters were there merely to add to the body count. Their deaths however, were nothing less than ignoble, usually getting chewed up by some file-toothed “angel” who has inhabited a human body.

The details of the plot are inconsequential – God wants to kill humans, but the Archangel Michael disagrees. Gabriel flies down after an hour of forced character development and begins to kick ass.

As a writer, you are obligated not to assault your audience’s sense of plausibility. Many will argue the “suspension of disbelief” is elastic and should be stretched – if I can accept that angels are real, I should be able to accept that angels would swoop down and enact God’s will.

However, this film left so many loop holes, even the most devout may begin to question their faith. The only new elements added to the archangels arsenal were bladed, bullet proof wings (stolen, if I remember correctly, from a Marvel Comics character named Archangel) and of course, a mace straight from the MI6 labs – a bludgeoning weapon that whirred and twisted and changes shape, extended and transformed, though likely too heave for even the new James Bond to heft, he was no doubt drooling over the versatility of this ridiculous weapon.

To spoil an already predictable plot, the good guys win and Michael gets his wings back, having taught the omniscient and omnipotent God a lesson in mercy. Gabriel flies off, beaten and the main characters, a trailer-park hussy/new mother and a bumpkin named Jeep (whose only heroic act was to machine-gun a child possessed by an angel) drive off into the post apocalypse desert to rebuild humanity, enacting a sloppy Joseph and Mary/Post Flood analog.

Overall, a  forgettable film.

One of the things I love about contemporary cinema is the filmmaker’s collective understanding of our extremely short attention spans. Sherlock Holmes is a film that indulges that attention deficiency in the extreme.

While I, and perhaps other members of the audience were expecting something more akin to a mystery, I found myself delighting in the pacing. The lightning quick scene-to-scene action slowly but surely redefined Holmes and the indefatigable Watson. There were moments in the film where I felt they were more like Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and His Attorney, than the legendary sleuth.

The dismissal of layered mystery and sub-plot worked for this action adventure film. Sherlock, it seems, has been re-invented.

Reader’s will notice I always gloss over the acting. Well, I’m not changing my pattern. Downey Jr. was excellent, as well as Jude Law, both tried and true performers. I expected no less. In fact, considering their past roles, this might have been a screw-off project for them. Supporting cast was adequate. (Sidenote: I’ve heard rumors that Brad Pitt is cast as Moriarty – dashing my own aspirations – while Pitt has performed some excellent roles, it is my belief that he needs heavy interaction with the director – how else could you explain his “blah” portrayal of Achilles, perhaps the most archetypical character in the history of man?)

A mystery/thriller necessarily must play upon the audiences limited perspective, elsewise we would figure out the mystery well ahead of the main character. Thus, during the big reveal, we see Holmes’ perception of details the audience simply wasn’t shown. That’s cheating.

All said, I loved the film, it will definitely go into my Blu-Ray collection, right next to Iron Man.

The moon was spying on me, watching me through my little window. The sky was blue and the winter moon was a clear three-quarter full. The only other thing visible from my high window was a massive pine. It was like and angry watcher, its branches fracturing the afternoon blue of the sky.

The moon watched as I devoured a Nutroll, the nuts cracking and shattering as I chomped, crumbs piling around me, landing on the slick surface of my grim obsidian desk.

I hunkered down and she crept up higher in the sky to keep eyes on what I was doing. I devoured the candy.  The salt from the Nutroll was making me lick my lips. The goo in the center of the candy bar was sticking in my teeth and I was moving my mouth and cheeks in an effort to dislodge the tooth decayer. But I couldn’t give up the salt, so both efforts, the salt removal and the sticky candy-goo removal took twice as long.

The moon watched while I feasted like a dog.

I found myself repeating “what a beautiful film” to everyone who asked me what I thought. And it was. It was stunning. We’ve been spoiled by special effects in the last ten years. We’ve seen superheroes come to life, mighty starships free themselves of the confining wires and cameras on dollies, make effects have been completely replaced by 100% digital effects.

Some hardcore film folk will suggest this is the down fall of cinema, the day the actor and director no longer interface is that day we’re all watching cartoons written my mad children.

And I would tend to agree. Jar-Jar Binks is my primary evidence.

But Avatar, all three hours of it, was something special. The plot itself was simple – to quote my uncle “a child could have written it,” and that’s okay. Most of the best stories are those that we all understand on a primal level. This film was nothing more complicated than Dances With Wolves in space. Which is okay too, since Alien was Jaws in Space and Attack of the Clones was just Star Wars in space (that last one was a joke).

The plot, essentially runs like this – Marine agent goes native. Saves people. Aside from the spectacular setting, there was nothing new or interesting about the story itself. Ancient as the plot may have been, it resonates with audiences because of some very simple and all too human elements: loss.

A sub-textual critique of the plight of Native American peoples can easily be read into Cameron’s somewhat heavy-handed action flick, but the secondary plot thread is entirely unnecessary.

I was disappointed to see that Cameron’s treat of space marines has changed little since the days of Aliens – the jarheads are mostly without conscience and still even talk the same. “Get some!” seems to be a common phrase in all centuries of Jim Cameron’s military vision. While I find his view of our own warrior caste somewhat two dimensional, I must applaud is continued use of powered armor.

Plausibility was kept at an all time high for a sci-fi action flick, and lord in heaven, this was a beautiful film. Simply gorgeous to look at.

I won’t comment on the acting. Sigourney Weaver is a professional who simply cannot deliver a poor performance. Our hero did most of his work in voice over mode, as well as the love interest. Michele Rodriguez (of Resident Evil fame) is sassy and sharp, but her character was a combination of Vasquez and Ferro from Aliens (can Jim never leave LV-426 behind?)